What Is the Cost for Unwanted Sexual Behavior?

Perhaps you are thinking: “My ongoing relationship with porn and masturbation isn't a big deal, is it? It doesn't affect anyone else and I'm not paying for the porn that I watch.”

Wait a minute! How much time are you spending with those behaviors each month? What if you didn't give your energy to these sinful sexual behaviors? What if instead you invested it in reading good books, learning life skills, or cultivating a creative hobby?

Probably the biggest “cost” of our sinful sexual behaviors is the damage that it does to our relationships – with God, with our spouse, with our family, and friends. You can't really love God with your whole heart if you have this secret sin that you engage in.

And men, let's be honest – if we are cultivating lustful thoughts we CAN'T love our spouse!

God made us to be one-person focused in the intimate relationship of marriage. We can't be fully committed to our spouse and the pixels on a tablet screen!

Jesus told us in Matthew 5:27-30 that if we “have lustful intent” (ESV) or look on a woman “to lust after her” (KJV) that we have already sinned in our heart! Even though we haven't actually done the action (probably because we fear being caught!) there has been an internal agreement that 'I would like that'. I remember hearing a well known pastor ask one time – “If I did what I am thinking about, would it be sin? If the answer is, “Yes”, then it is also sin just to think about it!”

Jesus did not prohibit lustful thoughts and actions because he wanted to rob us of something pleasant, helpful, and productive! He knows, and haven't we all seen what giving in to sexual sins does to our lives – even if the person has not yet acted out what he is thinking? It destroys and saps potential from us. We have an enemy that wants to lure us into this trap and destroy our lives and relationships!

I say it this way, “Show me a man who has energy for life, enjoys his relationships with others, loves God, has plans for his future and what he wants to accomplish, etc. and I will show you a man who is an overcomer in the sexual arena.”

On the other hand, I say, “Show me a man who is tired, struggles in his relationships with others, his relationship with God is a chore, isn't sure where he is going with his life and has no real plans for the future, and who doesn't know what he wants to do with his life, and I will show you a man who is struggling with sexual temptations.”

I am usually right...  Why?  Because sexual sin drains our energy, puts us in a fog and disconnects the clear thinking part of our brain!